Third Cousin, twice removed and once replaced, Bernard K Flandersmith, was considered to be a brainiac. He was also considered an outcast because he had been so obsessed with magicians throughout his childhood. When he graduated, instead of going to college as had been expected (graduating in top of your class, expectations are to be made), he had moved away to some remote down in southern Indiana, where he had immersed himself in the occult.
For three years, there were no letters, no post cards, no phone calls. Then, one sunny hot afternoon in July, Bernard showed up on his parents' front door exclaiming he had magical powers. His mother, Fanny, had fainted and had scared their poodle, Muffins, into hiding for three days. He proclaimed he could make inanimate objects become real, like Pinnochio!
Two days after his return,brought one of his niece's three foot tall dolls to life. After mumbling some jibberish about flying headless squirrels and mean posionous plants, there was smoke and sparks and there before everyone's eyes was Bernard holding a short woman in his hand. It was this time, his father, Claudius, had fainted and had knocked his sister, Sissy, right over along with him.Shortly afterward, Bernard signed a contract with Barnum and Bailey, married the now live doll, and fathered several children. These children, unfortunately, reverted to their doll-ancestory and were sold to a local Toys and Games and Yoyos outlet.